Yeah I know that I've been pretty damn slackass about getting this page up and I know that some of you have been worrying about me getting back into drugs and shit like that.  Don't hassle. I'm still clean and have been for longer than I can think back on now. What I have been though is going through some really heavy depressions just in the last coupla weeks.  Hey who knows what the fuck brings it on. I have no fucking clue. The other night I was sitting at the PC and did the graphic below. It was just one of those times that I could just easily go to the local connection and buy whatever, take the lot and hope that everything will be okay when I land back on earth in a few weeks time. But we all know that that is a load of bullshit and it would've just made things worse.  I think that's what Cody was trying to tell me all the time.  The "better" is temporary and sooner or later you have to face the shit you're dealing with.  A whole lot has happened since the last news page went up.  A gay massage parlour was attacked by a gang of fucking mad men and the guys that were there.  Most of them my age, had their throats slit and were then shot in the head execution style.  It had something to do with the owner of the place, Sizzlers, not allowing the drug merchants to take over his turf and to leave his clients alone.  The deed totally shocked Cape Town but then we've known for fucking years that we have a major drug problem, I know from first hand.  Nobody wants to deal with it. 

Valentine's was always a big deal with the Codeman.   Whether he was with me or Steph or any of his other friends, you knew this was gonna be a good day.  Cody was the text book romantic. Daring, brave, heroic and soft, dreamy romantic.  All rolled into one.  I know he would've made up something special for the old V Day, so I have made a wallpaper.  The thumb is at the beginning of this article and is 800x600 and features Gosha of rsc. I actually made it last year and thought this would be a good time to post it.  Thought you would like the VDay pics of Chance on the left.  OMF I could handle a whole night of lovemaking with him. I can imagine it being rough and awesomely physical with just a little pain thrown in for good measure, to keep me in my place.

I've been reading the Codeman story on Mr.B.  It brings back really vivid memories of my friend.  I never realised how much I hurt him and I for sure never realised how much he loved me.  I guess I never listened to the telltale signs about what he really wanted from me.  We were both going through some mad changes though.  I didn't know if I was Arthur or Martha (literally) and was feeling really low about myself.  Its also interesting to see how he was downing himself about the sexual times he had with Wingnut.  That was the prob with Cody a lot of the time, he would put himself down about a lot of things that weren't his fault.  

University is pretty cool.  I have made so many knew friends that it's unreal.  Loads of chicks and some really hot hunks.  Sometimes too much booze but I've totally stayed away from the drugs.  *Steve pats himself on the back*  

I have had mail from so many of you.  Hey Wiz, thanks for the daily mail that kept up for a while. Cool to see that you're doing well.  June and Jace ... What can I say?  Thanks for always thinking of me and for being such great people.  I love you guys.   Dave, Chuck .... all of you .... Thanks for just being there.  Got a totally amazing email from João in Brasil.  Cody mustve told him about my trip to Brasil.  I was only 16 then and running for someone.  What an amazing trip and yes  João I did screw the girl from Ipanema, if that's who they were :)

Gary.. thanks for writing the story.  You have no idea how much it means to me to know how much Cody loved me.  

I hope you guys enjoy the bits and pieces on this page.  

Loveya
Peace, Love, Respect

Steve

Fight the ache and the pain and thank him for the memories, the happy ones of a friend who will always be in your heart.

Remember the rose.

Remember the smell of the salt air and the rising of the swell, 

The smile and laughter, the friendship .....

Feel him in your heart ......
and soar!

Always wear a decent pair of sunglasses if you're going to those all day sports events, like the World Cup Cricket.  Code would've gone to every local match that he could.  He supported the team through thick and thin.  The SA team didn't make the Super Sixes but I'm sure Gary will be chuffed that the Aussies are right up there and look like they're gonna win this thing.  

Tattoos can be pretty funky.  This one takes the cake tho.  Not sure if I'll get one of these.  Maybe just a little too way over the top.  Cute ass tho huh? HAhahahahahaha

Sex between two intimate friends is one of the greatest things in the world.  It takes you beyond anything you can imagine.  It takes your friendship to soaring heights and it leaves an indelible mark on your life forever.  The first time between you is always the most special and most memorable.  Maybe because its the unknown and the feeling of each other for the first time. 

I will never in my entire life forget the first time for Cody and me.  We had often spoken about going the whole way but were hesitant.  When the right moment arrived.  We soared like two eagles.  Taking each other's bodies to new heights of absolute magic and I will forever remember the look on his face as he climaxed.  He loved me and I loved him and it went way beyond a normal friendship.  

This pic reminded me of the time that Cody and I were swimming a few meters away from a pod of Southern Right whales, in False Bay.  We were surfing a spot called Cemetery.  Surf was glassy and really spectacular.  The sky was stormy and there was lightning and thunder in the distance.

It was just one of those really special moment.  I guess that the two guys in this pic will forever remember this dolphin jumping out in front of them and probably remember how spectacular it was.

That's it guys (and gals). Until the next time, keep your stick wet. 

"Peace, Love, Respect"

Steve

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